I had to take parenting classes a few months ago because one of the boys had gotten himself into trouble last summer. He gets counseling services, Intensive In Home services, and probation. When he was small, he was taught what you do and don’t do. I can speak from experience that kids will definitely only learn and follow what they want. It seems more like he will do the opposite of what I teach him. Or if I tell him I’m against something he is all for it. What I am taking away from all these services is that what I want for him and of him is irrelevant. But, of course, I’m a lousy person if he is doing wrong.
I saw this on Daddy and Mummy quotes yesterday:
I have always agreed with this kind of statement. I believe schools and some teachers overstep this boundary all too often. I’ve always felt that if you have an issue with something a parent does, you talk to them away from the kids. I try never to argue in front of my kids with another adult because it shows immaturity and is just plain rude.
All too often my feelings/wishes and beliefs are shot down by the people that are supposed to be helping, and most of the time right in front of my children. It’s been bugging me and I don’t have any more of a point to make (also lost my train of thought with all the obligations for the day) which means I’ll leave it at this. Just another rant.
I’m a firm believer in words not meaning much without something to show they are true. Like “I’m sorry” should mean that particular action won’t happen again. If it continues to happen, the words “I’m sorry” are sickening to hear.
Our boys stole my cigarettes(thankfully I’m trying to quit so that won’t be an option for much longer). This is the second time they’ve done this particular thieving, they’ve been taking lots of things at home lately that they are supposed to ask permission for in order to have. The last time they took my cigarettes was around a year ago.This time they broke into a locking freezer to get them. Now both say it was the other boy so in my mind it is both of them just trying to out the other one. My son can usually only keep up a lie with me for a short time and his son will just keep it up if it keeps him out of trouble. Unfortunately I don’t believe either of them this time and think it’s both. I had their teachers search them.
Now, his boy’s counselor wants to tell me everyone makes mistakes. How many times can it happen and still be a mistake? I’m going to make them work off stealing from me. Only problem is that sometimes it’s so much a hassle to get them to understand a task that I’m still doing more work. I feel that all of these counselors for these boys are really just enabling them. They keep letting them think, it’s ok, you just have something slightly wrong with your brain’s chemical balance. When do they start being told to try within themselves to change that? When they wind up in jail later in life, maybe. When no one else is responsible for them because of age they are thrown to the wolves thinking everyone will be so understanding. It’s tiring to feel like you’re battling the people that are supposed to be helping because every bit of “help” they give only makes the kids worse at home.
Turns out it’s basically a repeat of something called on me before. Which was proven to be a lie then so I wish I knew if it could be prosecuted. I got my letter in the mail today about what my son pulled at school according to everyone else. When it comes to things other kids say he said I tend not to believe it as much but when the teachers heard him I have no choice but to take their word for it.
However, today my son tells me that on the way to school this morning one of the neighbors yelled at him. I’m really tired of people thinking they have any right to threaten my son. I’ve told him all he is to say is to talk to his mother. They have not been in our life until the past year and have the audacity to think they have any bearing in his rearing. They are sadly mistaken.