My dad got a letter the day before yesterday saying he had to repay the disability money he has received over several years in the amount of $73,643 and the plan to garnish his Social Security as well as taking the disability from him. The reason, he has/had a warrant for kidnapping my younger brother and I from HRS in Washington state back in 1985.

For those that don’t know HRS and CPS are the same organization. Some believe they changed the acronym because many people were calling them the Home (w)Recking Service.

Supposedly, back then, my parents were abusing us (there were four kids at the time) and back then HRS swooped in and took the kids in the home without talking first. One police officer(dressed in a suit not uniform) knocked on my parents’ door and told my mom something about needing to talk to her.She started to close it to take the chain off the door and this guy decided to shove the door open and right onto her(she wound up wearing a sling for a while after that). During that commotion she wound up pissing herself and so did the potty training little girl next to her(me). They took the children that were home. My younger brother, me, and our Older brother with Hydrocephalus.

At some other point that day they took another older brother of mine from his high school. He went to get something from his locker and the same cop that hurt my mother slammed him again the lockers. The cop was telling him they are there to help him. Yeah, by slamming him against a locker…that’s so helpful! That same cop is in jail from what I understand for molesting little boys in the system. I don’t remember his name but my brother does. During this crap my dad was in the field with his military job. Which by the way is a demanding life.

The HRS worker that I remember is Mr. Hornby. Not sure if spelled right but that sounds right to me. This man was some work. I had told him I wanted my daddy and he told me he was my daddy now. I remember that and it still pisses me off! I was a smart ass little girl and let him know he was not. I remember staying with one family at the time. Mom and dad let me know I was only gone for two weeks. They went through their court battle and the judge gave us back to them. When I got into my mom’s arms I told her that man hurt my tushy. Now in our family, that was the word for the front of the female areas not the butt like in many other.

I remember mom and dad telling us about the guy saying they had a report of such and such abuse; and they tried to say that my dad’s Vietnam medals meant he cared more for his career than his children(when they told us what happened in court). He had been out for a few years after Vietnam and the only reason he went back was to pay for my older brother’s medical issues. Not many other jobs were good pay. My mom didn’t want to be with a military man but proved to be a damn good military wife! My oldest two brothers loved playing little soldiers. How the hell is that abuse.

When mom got my younger brother and I back she saw we had lost significant weight in the two weeks we were gone. There are pictures of before and after. I’m not sure how much time passed that they had to go back to court and deal with this crap again. This time it was a commissioner who was overseeing proceedings and he said to take us back to HRS. When mom and dad got home with us dad decided to take off with us. He went AWOL to keep his children. The cops put in a kidnapping case – which is incorrect by the way since at worst he could get custodial interference. HRS didn’t give birth to me so I couldn’t be kidnapped by my parents from those bastards. When my dad let them find us he had to submit proof to someone in the military about certain things in order not to go to prison. My dad did so. This paperwork of whatever my dad knew that got him into this crap is still out there and hidden.

My mom tried to take care of this warrant a few years ago by calling the issuing police station and they had no record of it from what they told her. But it keeps coming back to haunt him. My dad loved his country and all it has done for him so far is screw him over. Mom died in 2012, dad had a stroke in February of this year and can’t do what he loves, much less work. He didn’t get to retire from the military because of this family interference. Now that he CAN”T do things they are going to take away everything he has. I will fight this as much as I can and make it very public!


A bit more time goes by…

First, I want to apologize that I’m not more consistent. If any of you are like me, the more consistent bloggers are hard to keep up with. I don’t have time to go through all the blogs I like (or sometimes even a few) within a day. Sometimes I feel rather lazy because of it being such a simple thing to read and yet so hard to get to in a day.

For the most part, this has been a pretty good month. There has still been some terrible things, but the kids have been more cooperative since we started them on a relatively lenient schedule and I’ve gotten lots of things done(with the help of the service our boys have been enrolled in).

The bad: found out my boyfriend has Lyme Disease and almost couldn’t get his meds twice. We did because of the kindheartedness and compassion of a nurse he spoke with and to her we are very grateful. He has applied for medicaid but apparently they are having some changes and haven’t fully approved his application. Sounds almost like there isn’t anyone available to get it done. He is trying to find other work but it’s an area with not much selection. I’ll be glad when we move(he has something lined up there).

I have started selling all the excess we have on Ebay and can almost cover my half of the bills some months(can’t wait until I can safely be off government services).Although I still can’t quite cover the bills and also need to be able to pay on my child support for my oldest son so I’m definitely not gloating. All I’ve been selling is what my girls grow out of that has stayed in good condition and the Avon stuff I still have from when I tried to do that as a business. I am deeply in debt from college financial aid, child support, and not being able to have full time employment for quite some time. I aim to be completely self-sufficient as my kids and a good job don’t seem to coincide with each other for their demands of my time. I value my family more than a job and will not be at work outside of the home for someone else to raise my babies. It’s bad enough for me not to even have the opportunity to see one of my four biological children. He probably has some animosity towards me at this point and I certainly don’t blame him. Trying to make it without my mother to do all she did for me creates some serious setbacks on time and ability to see him. It’s all on me though.I have to focus on the ones that are with me more at this point and strive to pay his father the money I owe in child support, then I can see if he’d like to spend some time with me. I really am glad he has his father to take care of him as it would have been a lot harder for me to do. I know that now seeing what I have to deal with for my other son. I think in some cases it’s better for a boy to be with his father.

My boyfriend and I have both decided to home-school our boys. Both his boy and mine are really excited by the idea because both had been picked on and borderline bullied. Also, we do know our boys better than the school system and feel they would be better served with the time they’d spend with their respective parent. That undivided attention will help them and probably get on their nerves at some point.The daily schedule for the household has helped all of the children to listen better and to be a little more cooperative. I know there will be days when it is harder for them to cooperate than others but it has done a lot of good for them. I even get a chance to read one of the many books every so often. That hasn’t happened since they were born because they get so loud with play and want all attention. With this, they get attention in increments, but are busy when not. 

The service our boys are in took a lot of the families to a water park yesterday. It was nice to get out together(most of us anyway…two had to stay with grandma for personal reasons) and actually have fun! The boys didn’t complain, which is awesome because they usually have a complaint about something. It was really fun and not something we’d get to do otherwise in our current situation.

I know I’m forgetting some of what I wanted to say, although, it may have been too much as well. I sometimes wonder why anyone would read my blog as most of it is complaints about one thing or another. I keep it up because I know how I feel when I see that someone has dealt with the same things I have in reading other blogs. I know I’m not the only ones who goes through, or has gone through the issues I talk about. I also know it helps to see that there are others who know what you are going through even if they don’t understand your exact feelings towards it or feel the same as you during the situation.


My son, as I’ve stated before, has issues. What cause them I honestly don’t know, there can be so many things that’ve happened to cause them. He was in a service called Children’s Integrated Services, we had a nice worker who got married and left for her husband’s career. The supervisor(I think) took over for her and sucked in my opinion at doing her job. We went after what is called SPOA(no idea wtf the acronym is) and he was refused because my boyfriend’s son has similar services. Also, because we live in the same household(although we run everything separately for the most part), my son has been dropped from his services. Now, while my boyfriend’s son’s service can integrate him to an extent, it will not be inclusive enough from the sound of it and my son will be lost in the mix. A shadow to my boyfriend’s son even though he needs just about as much help. While this is still nicer than my growing up where things like this were almost non-existent, it’s crap. Why does one child have to lose for another? Even when they are actual siblings. We are not married, we have our OWN things to take care of but try to create a family setting with these children and the government programs drop my son because we live with another child like him. The government crap here is forcing me to rely on my man when I was raised to be independent of a partner. While I do love him, there is no guarantees of everlasting in life and something can be gone in an instant. If he were to pass away(God forbid) or we split I’d no longer have his children either, or this home. I’d be forced to start this again from scratch. Life isn’t fair, I know this. This doesn’t show to be a help as much as it was an intrusion now. They came in, looked down on me from their prejudgments based on the school, told me what I was going to do and how shitty they thought I was, then just disappear.

I found out CPS also thinks I don’t supervise the children enough. I’m home pretty much all the time. Dealing with one argument or another and mediating or administering punishment, I barely get to leave the house because no one watches the children as often as needed. But I don’t supervise enough. I don’t take naps as much as I feel I need them some days for fear something will happen. Right now I’m sick with a fever and and can barely breathe or speak but not resting. But I don’t supervise enough. My boyfriend works during the prime hours of the day. He sleeps a bit later because the littlest ones keep us up until at least midnight every night and he has to work a hard and lousy job. I’m not working regularly because someone needs to be here with the kids. But it’s not enough. Nothing is ever enough for those outside looking in. We share our problems and many times all we get is someone looking down on us. They say God only gives you what you can handle, but I know that God gives people free will and those causing the problems are usually doing it because they have the need to control others. That is all I see this judgment and looking down on me as, a need to control me and my family. Not a care to help, but to hinder into submission. I do not submit. I will continue to not rest, I can rest when I die. The kids are worth it. But I will also continue to be me and not submit to domination.

SSI, Foostamps, and other government agencies.

The more I learn about the government agencies that are designed to help, the more I realize they are all full of shit. Also, to those people that complain about having to pay into these agencies: FUCK YOU! You have no idea how hard this crap is to get. All the hoops you have to jump through. I had a simple, older model Metro PCS phone, not some high end phone(now i have no phone). CPS actually feels it’s a requirement to have a cellphone. Not even something that works the same as a land line is good enough for them.Some of us didn’t want kids until a certain age. To start out ahead of the preferred age and have you bitching about helping us out when we need it is ridiculous. I paid into all that shit for more than 10 years, and now that I need help I can’t fucking get it. But I kept my children since I didn’t abstain totally from having sex(birth control is a fucking joke too, I got pregnant on 4 different types. Yep 4 kids.).
I have clothes that barely fit because no matter what I do, I can’t keep my weight down. I eat MAYBE one meal a day to make sure there is food for the kids. Jobs are not as easy to find as everyone says when you got kids and no one to watch them. My mother died a year ago, she was my support system. Jobs are not flexible to you, flexible means for them. They could give a shit less if you’d have to leave your kid home alone for some fuckhead to grab and rape or kill. Daycare costs A LOT. And before you mention my internet, it’s not mine. I have to pay child support for my first kid because some dickhead I was dating decided to hit him when I trusted someone other than my mom to watch him. I don’t even get to see him now for many circumstances so I moved to a new area, it’s no easier to get help or feasible work in the new area. I’m an office type person. I suck at hard labor so how the hell do I keep those jobs?!? Some jobs have mandatory over time. Don’t give a shit about you having a kid there either. For anyone to say it’s not their problem, think of who will be members of society later jackasses. You’ll be old, needing social security and having these kids complain about supporting your asses too! I have a boyfriend now, who tries his damnedest, works for a crappy company who keeps changing his shift, he don’t catch no break anywhere either. I hate that I’m not contributing to the household. I mean, I cook and clean but that doesn’t help to pay bills I help create. So again I say to those of you who don’t like helping your own neighbors out: FUCK YOU!!!
SSI– this one tells you that your kids condition is not disabling when you see that, at the moment there is no chance of them surviving in this world if you can’t get them more help.
Food-stamps-this one tells you to give them certain paperwork and then never tells you why you didn’t get help.
Medicaid– This one will cut your disabled kid off as soon as they are out of a program even though you still have expensive ass medicine to pay for without affording it.
Schools– they will call cps on you when the kids isn’t getting the medicine you can’t afford.
CPS– Always depends on the worker. Some will tell you to put in place things you already know doesn’t work. They expect your house to be spotless but you better do it while your kids is sleeping(with some workers again) or you’re neglecting them(not supervising properly) because we all know kids get into shit in a split second.
Don’t get me wrong about my kids, I love them. They are the only reason I’m still living. I had a death wish as a kid. And as soon as they can take care of themselves, I hope God takes me from this lousy world.

Government Help

I have come up with a new pet peeve today. Now, it’s not that I am not at all grateful for the help the government gives people in need. Although, many abuse it and many others are jerks and think we don’t need it because it uses their tax dollars. Anyone ,like me, has put money into the crap and have every right to ask for the help. Those that have never worked and abuse it while using cash they get in some illegal way may not deserve it but some of us do deserve the help when we are down on our luck. However, my pet peeve is how these people act with you when you are there to either pick up the Christmas gifts you couldn’t afford to get your kids, or food you couldn’t afford this week, or clothes, or anything of that nature.
Where do they come off  thinking they can talk down to you? I have worked in so many customer service areas and have never acted like the stuck up wench some of these people portray themselves to be. It’s a load of crap. Everyone who gets into a higher position in life seems to abuse that position by acting like that with those less fortunate. I go into a place that I know called me thinking I heard to pick up gifts. I don’t hear very well over the phone because it always sounds muffled. The receptionist couldn’t get the person whose name was close to what I heard, instead she just tells me they are not doing that yet. OK so why can’t I still talk to the person to sort it out? If you don’t know she called me then who are you? Why can’t I speak to the one who I need to and just hear what you are telling me. So screw it, until they call me again I guess we don’t get whatever it is. Wouldn’t be the first Christmas my kids and I went without and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I am so sick of the high and mighty trash people pull.
Just because you can afford more then I can does not make you above me. I am out of work because the business I worked for couldn’t afford to keep me on staff (mom and pop type place). Any position I have went after since either states I have too little credentials or too many. I applied to be a server and was told that they didn’t think I’d be happy there. Oh no, of course I’d be happier being just about homeless and having my children and I starve. I am so sick of people in general some days. As I have realized, many of the businesses out there will now only hire a few and work them to where they barely have time to sleep because all they would need to do is threaten layoff. It’s sickening that employment should be so scarce and businesses should be able to hold that over you so badly. Doesn’t matter you have children with no one to watch them outside of the hours you give. Either work our hours or go hungry. When they say flexible schedule they don’t mean for you, they mean yours has to be flexible.

I am happy that I do have some work to do, but I am not getting enough at the moment.One or two days a week, or month, are not enough to sustain a family; but at least I do have something. Many people are more willing to send money to other less fortunate countries then they are to give $1 to a U.S. homeless person. I understand that the U.S. is rampant with alcoholics and drug users, but those other countries could have the same problems. Some of us hate to ask for help in the first place, so we do not need to be talked down to as well.


You ever try to find a government agency on the web only to find out they are either not available that way, or they don’t have what you need linked?
I find this really annoying. In this day and age EVERYTHING should be available on the web. I know there are all sorts of dangers in doing this but most of us do many things in this way. Pretty much no one wants to call anything to hear the recordings that most find annoying. Nor do we have the time to sit on the phone for however long it takes to solve the problem. Through the web, we can take care of a situation at about any time of day that we may get a moments peace. By now, we really should just be handling most things this way. It’s not that our technology isn’t advanced enough; it’s more that the government and businesses are lazy. In fact, there would be many benefits to just putting all employees as remote workers unless absolutely necessary that they be in the facility.
Here are a few good reasons I could think of for remote employees:
Less on electricity usage-the electricity is only use when you need it and not dependent on those alcoholics who work later.
Less fuel usage-No fuel needed to go back and forth to work, which in my opinion would lower fuel prices because of the lower demand.
Schedules- Many people don’t have enough time for much if they have to leave the house, others have trouble sleeping at the times they should. If we could work remotely, we could work at a time that is more convenient and more then likely be more effective in work. That is saying you are the type that can get into the work if you have the opportunity.
Anything else that anyone would like to add would be appreciated but this is what I could think of. My schedule doesn’t always allow for me to deal with agencies on their time, and still others don’t give you all the options they should when they are online.