I started this post on 04/21/2017 and got myself lost in other things. I tend to do that a lot. Have you seen that pregnancy test commercial (there’s probably more than one out there) where the people look at it and are all smiles? I’m sure you have. I find that commercial mildly annoying. I think they should have at least one person say “Shit” in a whispered tone. Not mad, but maybe slightly hoping they weren’t. I know that both are realistic, but they want to include everyone in these commercials. Companies should be looking for realistic approaches to their products and not everyone in a situation is ecstatic about that situation.


Being a Parent is Irrelevant

I had to take parenting classes a few months ago because one of the boys had gotten himself into trouble last summer. He gets counseling services, Intensive In Home services, and probation. When he was small, he was taught what you do and don’t do. I can speak from experience that kids will definitely only learn and follow what they want. It seems more like he will do the opposite of what I teach him. Or if I tell him I’m against something he is all for it. What I am taking away from all these services is that what I want for him and of him is irrelevant. But, of course, I’m a lousy person if he is doing wrong.


I saw this on Daddy and Mummy quotes yesterday:18011001_1643138562381067_4168294107647343014_n


I have always agreed with this kind of statement. I believe schools and some teachers overstep this boundary all too often. I’ve always felt that if you have an issue with something a parent does, you talk to them away from the kids. I try never to argue in front of my kids with another adult because it shows immaturity and is just plain rude.

All too often my feelings/wishes and beliefs are shot down by the people that are supposed to be helping, and most of the time right in front of my children. It’s been bugging me and I don’t have any more of a point to make (also lost my train of thought with all the obligations for the day) which means I’ll leave it at this. Just another rant.



Busy, Busy, Busy

Oh my goodness, life has gotten busy. the hubs/fiance/bf/whatever is working outside of the home. I’m finally working something regular inside the home, but waiting to start something else as well. I’m really not sure how much I’m allowed to say about my jobs. I type this as the boys are talking to each other about what I consider to be slightly inappropriate. Let’s see if I can finally get off my butt and do more writing. I’ve noticed over time that my writing has gotten worse than it was in high school. That’s a bit unnerving. The people you associate with can really change your intelligence. I know I’m rambling.

I had to take parenting classes after my son got into trouble. They were interesting and even a bit fun. During them I realized I talk to much to the kids, give them reasons they don’t really care about for behaving right, and at the wrong times.  This is probably common knowledge for some, but don’t try to correct your kids when they’re mad. I only really put it out there because it seems to be working. My boy has been a real defiant handful most of his life. When he gets into a tantrum, I tell him to go hang out in his room and talk to me when he’s calmed and can do so without yelling. That’s for both him and I, because he’s put holes in the walls and me into a bookcase. Things are currently getting better though. I just hope they keep going that way. My parenting class didn’t change things as much as my son having the scare of being in a detention center.I hope he stays a bit worried about that possibility. Having some fear keeps people doing better. I know some will disagree with me and that’s okay. I’m not looking for anyone to agree with me. I’ve always done this just so that anyone else who thinks as I do will know they aren’t alone.


Why? Because they have been overcharging our gas usage this winter. Last winter, our furnace broke down. The blower broke and it costs too much to get it fixed. We started taking down parts of the pipes that the heat flows through as well. So we are definitely not using that thing this winter. Maybe it spikes a little during November when we are cooking more for thanksgiving. Our washer has frozen so we aren’t using the gas dryer as often either. The heating element on the oven broke, so guess what, that’s not being used much either. However, our Gas usage says 444.9 therms for January 2015. During the month of August we actually used the dryer so how is it more during the winter than when we are using one appliance less? When we try to ask them about it, and specifically asked them to actually read the meters, we get a run-around of excuses. We’ve had to go through HEAP twice to keep the power on as my fiance is out of work and I don’t have a lot of it. The last time he spoke to NYSEG he was told he could pay around $400 to keep the power on this month while we work it out. When he calls to get the exact amount, they say it’s $1300 to keep the power on. Considering at least half of our bill is a farce, WTF!! We’ve been using energy-efficient quartz heaters so expected our power usage to spike a bit but not the gas.


Now they have a program called EAP for those who qualify for HEAP. A part of that program is arrears forgiveness. When he asked about that today on the phone, he was told we had to be caught up on the bill. How do you need arrears forgiveness if your bill is caught up? Also, on their website, they only give you half-assed information. I’m assuming this is so they can BS you however they want on the phone. I’m attaching pictures from the website. Can anyone make sense of this crap?


My dad got a letter the day before yesterday saying he had to repay the disability money he has received over several years in the amount of $73,643 and the plan to garnish his Social Security as well as taking the disability from him. The reason, he has/had a warrant for kidnapping my younger brother and I from HRS in Washington state back in 1985.

For those that don’t know HRS and CPS are the same organization. Some believe they changed the acronym because many people were calling them the Home (w)Recking Service.

Supposedly, back then, my parents were abusing us (there were four kids at the time) and back then HRS swooped in and took the kids in the home without talking first. One police officer(dressed in a suit not uniform) knocked on my parents’ door and told my mom something about needing to talk to her.She started to close it to take the chain off the door and this guy decided to shove the door open and right onto her(she wound up wearing a sling for a while after that). During that commotion she wound up pissing herself and so did the potty training little girl next to her(me). They took the children that were home. My younger brother, me, and our Older brother with Hydrocephalus.

At some other point that day they took another older brother of mine from his high school. He went to get something from his locker and the same cop that hurt my mother slammed him again the lockers. The cop was telling him they are there to help him. Yeah, by slamming him against a locker…that’s so helpful! That same cop is in jail from what I understand for molesting little boys in the system. I don’t remember his name but my brother does. During this crap my dad was in the field with his military job. Which by the way is a demanding life.

The HRS worker that I remember is Mr. Hornby. Not sure if spelled right but that sounds right to me. This man was some work. I had told him I wanted my daddy and he told me he was my daddy now. I remember that and it still pisses me off! I was a smart ass little girl and let him know he was not. I remember staying with one family at the time. Mom and dad let me know I was only gone for two weeks. They went through their court battle and the judge gave us back to them. When I got into my mom’s arms I told her that man hurt my tushy. Now in our family, that was the word for the front of the female areas not the butt like in many other.

I remember mom and dad telling us about the guy saying they had a report of such and such abuse; and they tried to say that my dad’s Vietnam medals meant he cared more for his career than his children(when they told us what happened in court). He had been out for a few years after Vietnam and the only reason he went back was to pay for my older brother’s medical issues. Not many other jobs were good pay. My mom didn’t want to be with a military man but proved to be a damn good military wife! My oldest two brothers loved playing little soldiers. How the hell is that abuse.

When mom got my younger brother and I back she saw we had lost significant weight in the two weeks we were gone. There are pictures of before and after. I’m not sure how much time passed that they had to go back to court and deal with this crap again. This time it was a commissioner who was overseeing proceedings and he said to take us back to HRS. When mom and dad got home with us dad decided to take off with us. He went AWOL to keep his children. The cops put in a kidnapping case – which is incorrect by the way since at worst he could get custodial interference. HRS didn’t give birth to me so I couldn’t be kidnapped by my parents from those bastards. When my dad let them find us he had to submit proof to someone in the military about certain things in order not to go to prison. My dad did so. This paperwork of whatever my dad knew that got him into this crap is still out there and hidden.

My mom tried to take care of this warrant a few years ago by calling the issuing police station and they had no record of it from what they told her. But it keeps coming back to haunt him. My dad loved his country and all it has done for him so far is screw him over. Mom died in 2012, dad had a stroke in February of this year and can’t do what he loves, much less work. He didn’t get to retire from the military because of this family interference. Now that he CAN”T do things they are going to take away everything he has. I will fight this as much as I can and make it very public!

A bit more time goes by…

First, I want to apologize that I’m not more consistent. If any of you are like me, the more consistent bloggers are hard to keep up with. I don’t have time to go through all the blogs I like (or sometimes even a few) within a day. Sometimes I feel rather lazy because of it being such a simple thing to read and yet so hard to get to in a day.

For the most part, this has been a pretty good month. There has still been some terrible things, but the kids have been more cooperative since we started them on a relatively lenient schedule and I’ve gotten lots of things done(with the help of the service our boys have been enrolled in).

The bad: found out my boyfriend has Lyme Disease and almost couldn’t get his meds twice. We did because of the kindheartedness and compassion of a nurse he spoke with and to her we are very grateful. He has applied for medicaid but apparently they are having some changes and haven’t fully approved his application. Sounds almost like there isn’t anyone available to get it done. He is trying to find other work but it’s an area with not much selection. I’ll be glad when we move(he has something lined up there).

I have started selling all the excess we have on Ebay and can almost cover my half of the bills some months(can’t wait until I can safely be off government services).Although I still can’t quite cover the bills and also need to be able to pay on my child support for my oldest son so I’m definitely not gloating. All I’ve been selling is what my girls grow out of that has stayed in good condition and the Avon stuff I still have from when I tried to do that as a business. I am deeply in debt from college financial aid, child support, and not being able to have full time employment for quite some time. I aim to be completely self-sufficient as my kids and a good job don’t seem to coincide with each other for their demands of my time. I value my family more than a job and will not be at work outside of the home for someone else to raise my babies. It’s bad enough for me not to even have the opportunity to see one of my four biological children. He probably has some animosity towards me at this point and I certainly don’t blame him. Trying to make it without my mother to do all she did for me creates some serious setbacks on time and ability to see him. It’s all on me though.I have to focus on the ones that are with me more at this point and strive to pay his father the money I owe in child support, then I can see if he’d like to spend some time with me. I really am glad he has his father to take care of him as it would have been a lot harder for me to do. I know that now seeing what I have to deal with for my other son. I think in some cases it’s better for a boy to be with his father.

My boyfriend and I have both decided to home-school our boys. Both his boy and mine are really excited by the idea because both had been picked on and borderline bullied. Also, we do know our boys better than the school system and feel they would be better served with the time they’d spend with their respective parent. That undivided attention will help them and probably get on their nerves at some point.The daily schedule for the household has helped all of the children to listen better and to be a little more cooperative. I know there will be days when it is harder for them to cooperate than others but it has done a lot of good for them. I even get a chance to read one of the many books every so often. That hasn’t happened since they were born because they get so loud with play and want all attention. With this, they get attention in increments, but are busy when not. 

The service our boys are in took a lot of the families to a water park yesterday. It was nice to get out together(most of us anyway…two had to stay with grandma for personal reasons) and actually have fun! The boys didn’t complain, which is awesome because they usually have a complaint about something. It was really fun and not something we’d get to do otherwise in our current situation.

I know I’m forgetting some of what I wanted to say, although, it may have been too much as well. I sometimes wonder why anyone would read my blog as most of it is complaints about one thing or another. I keep it up because I know how I feel when I see that someone has dealt with the same things I have in reading other blogs. I know I’m not the only ones who goes through, or has gone through the issues I talk about. I also know it helps to see that there are others who know what you are going through even if they don’t understand your exact feelings towards it or feel the same as you during the situation.


Woke up an hour ago and started my daily routine. Went to wake my son so he can go to church only to find he is already gone. The lock of the front door isn’t set right now to so I don’t know what to think. The older kids in this house are constantly being told not to go out that door if I’m not awake and this one is on purpose, no doubt. He left more than an hour earlier than he even needs to. I don’t know whether or not to call the cops either.

This church seems to be a bad thing for him because he has been ignoring everything I tell him. I explained to him what the commandments are and how he has been breaking them so far. Except for killing and adultery he seems to be well on his way. I’m not extremely christian but I have beliefs. Last weekend they baptized him without my permission. He’s only 11 and has barely learned crap about this world so how is it they make that decision for me. 

Too many of the places here have been interfering with my parental rights and I’m am oh so fed up. We will be moving from this place but I’m going to give them hell until we do. I will not sit quietly and take this abuse. I’ve already put in to home-school him until we leave so that the school doesn’t keep putting ideas in his head and apparently I can’t let him have a church because they’re going to teach him garbage. The pastor even lied to my son about the cost of an instrument, or my son lied to me about what was said. 

I know my thoughts are jumbled and probably don’t make sense on here but I had to get this out before I got even more angry.