SOMETIMES I FEEL BETTER OFF ALONE

I’m homeschooling my son now. So far he has opposed everything I set forth. Mainly because he is jealous of everything my boyfriend’s son “gets” and thinks (even if subconsciously) that acting up with get him more. My boyfriend’s son is in a program that brings him out to do things a few times a week, mostly out to eat, I get the feeling the chick who deals with him really dislikes me based on the demeanor around me(kind of irrelevant but I needed to say it).

There is a little committee here that decides what children get more intensive services and which don’t. My son can’t because we live in the same house as a boy getting more intense services even though they are not related. So my son gets something called Skillbuilding, but nothing else. Even that he only gets once a week. What my son really wants(and I’m inclined to agree) is something called Respite. Respite is when the kid gets a night or two out of the house. They stay at the house of someone within picked and checked out by the program. So this is awesome when you’re at your wits end with the child and they want nothing to do with you. My son keeps trying to get me to let him run the streets with these little boys  can’t stand ‘to give me a break'(his words).

I’m pretty sure my boyfriend is about fed up with my kids and I; and I’m fed up with this place. I want to go back home because I know the school there treats parents with more respect. Not for lack of love for my boyfriend, but I truly don’t want to be stuck in this snobbish little town. So far, the only people I’ve met who don’t act like their crap don’t stink are the ones handling this program with the boys. Even within it I’ve met a couple who still seem to think that way.

I have a bit of an OCD issue, and this woman I think has a problem with me drove me crazy by rearranging the kitchen table. Why did she need to move the chairs around? This isn’t her house. Technically it’s not mine either but you ASK the people in the home if it’s ok. Don’t take it upon yourself to change their set-up. I even ask my boyfriend if he minds me moving things around or doing certain things to the house. I usually don’t just do it. Who the hell is she?

As poorly funded as the schools where I’m from are, they still do a better job working with what they have. They are graded and you can choose to send your kids to an ‘A’ school. I’d rather leave them in a ‘C’ school if it means no snobby people teaching my kids not to be happy with what they have and can attain.

If I go home, I’m on my own. Being a single mom is easier when you’re used to it. We’ve been together a little over two years and our kids still don’t have any respect for the other adult. Mine are more vocal about it. His just don’t bother doing what I ask unless he jumps in. After this amount of time, if they don’t care what the other adult says, I’d say it’s not going to happen. These kids are only happy if they are getting their way and I don’t see any of the older ones succeeding as adults. I wish I knew how to get things through to them but am about done trying.

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