A bit more time goes by…

First, I want to apologize that I’m not more consistent. If any of you are like me, the more consistent bloggers are hard to keep up with. I don’t have time to go through all the blogs I like (or sometimes even a few) within a day. Sometimes I feel rather lazy because of it being such a simple thing to read and yet so hard to get to in a day.

For the most part, this has been a pretty good month. There has still been some terrible things, but the kids have been more cooperative since we started them on a relatively lenient schedule and I’ve gotten lots of things done(with the help of the service our boys have been enrolled in).

The bad: found out my boyfriend has Lyme Disease and almost couldn’t get his meds twice. We did because of the kindheartedness and compassion of a nurse he spoke with and to her we are very grateful. He has applied for medicaid but apparently they are having some changes and haven’t fully approved his application. Sounds almost like there isn’t anyone available to get it done. He is trying to find other work but it’s an area with not much selection. I’ll be glad when we move(he has something lined up there).

I have started selling all the excess we have on Ebay and can almost cover my half of the bills some months(can’t wait until I can safely be off government services).Although I still can’t quite cover the bills and also need to be able to pay on my child support for my oldest son so I’m definitely not gloating. All I’ve been selling is what my girls grow out of that has stayed in good condition and the Avon stuff I still have from when I tried to do that as a business. I am deeply in debt from college financial aid, child support, and not being able to have full time employment for quite some time. I aim to be completely self-sufficient as my kids and a good job don’t seem to coincide with each other for their demands of my time. I value my family more than a job and will not be at work outside of the home for someone else to raise my babies. It’s bad enough for me not to even have the opportunity to see one of my four biological children. He probably has some animosity towards me at this point and I certainly don’t blame him. Trying to make it without my mother to do all she did for me creates some serious setbacks on time and ability to see him. It’s all on me though.I have to focus on the ones that are with me more at this point and strive to pay his father the money I owe in child support, then I can see if he’d like to spend some time with me. I really am glad he has his father to take care of him as it would have been a lot harder for me to do. I know that now seeing what I have to deal with for my other son. I think in some cases it’s better for a boy to be with his father.

My boyfriend and I have both decided to home-school our boys. Both his boy and mine are really excited by the idea because both had been picked on and borderline bullied. Also, we do know our boys better than the school system and feel they would be better served with the time they’d spend with their respective parent. That undivided attention will help them and probably get on their nerves at some point.The daily schedule for the household has helped all of the children to listen better and to be a little more cooperative. I know there will be days when it is harder for them to cooperate than others but it has done a lot of good for them. I even get a chance to read one of the many books every so often. That hasn’t happened since they were born because they get so loud with play and want all attention. With this, they get attention in increments, but are busy when not. 

The service our boys are in took a lot of the families to a water park yesterday. It was nice to get out together(most of us anyway…two had to stay with grandma for personal reasons) and actually have fun! The boys didn’t complain, which is awesome because they usually have a complaint about something. It was really fun and not something we’d get to do otherwise in our current situation.

I know I’m forgetting some of what I wanted to say, although, it may have been too much as well. I sometimes wonder why anyone would read my blog as most of it is complaints about one thing or another. I keep it up because I know how I feel when I see that someone has dealt with the same things I have in reading other blogs. I know I’m not the only ones who goes through, or has gone through the issues I talk about. I also know it helps to see that there are others who know what you are going through even if they don’t understand your exact feelings towards it or feel the same as you during the situation.