Broken Pieces

Right now my heart is broken pieces. I’ve tried to love when it is still broken from the loss of the most important person in my life. My mother died and I’m a depressed and whiny person over it. Of course, the relationship I was irresponsible enough to start within a few weeks of losing my mother has fallen apart. I am a hard person in general to deal with, I know this. I just didn’t expect someone to stop trying so quickly after the start of a relationship.

One thing I’ve noticed in my own experiences is that men who are controlling seem to enjoy going after a female that is harder to control. Like the challenge I guess. When they realize you can’t be controlled the “love” they had for you is completely gone. Once that newness is gone and the excitement of the chase subsides, it always seems that the exact things they supposedly liked about you are the same things they can no longer stand.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate men. Never did. Just keep realizing that I’m just not meant to be with anyone. I’m always happier when I’m on my own, making all my own choices, and supporting my own little family. I know I have some serious issues that no one can truly understand. I know I love this person but at the same point, I’m relieved to have one less person to worry about. Now I’m being told I’m immature because I couldn’t be a friend to them any longer but I feel it’s best to remove myself from their life if it didn’t work out that way. Friendships are not always possible after a relationship like we had. Now, it’s time to makes other changes. Time to pick up my broken pieces and move on. Just wish it wasn’t so hard on children when the person is no longer going to be around. Seems they are more heartbroken than I am.

My family didn’t like the guy and now I’m hearing how friends didn’t know what I saw in him. I know what I saw, that just didn’t last. Which brings me back to something I have said many times in my past. Don’t put up an act in order to get someone. If they don’t like the real you then it is not going to work out. Ever.