The Trials of Being a (single)Mother

This is such a rewarding but very hard job. Especially if you don’t have a very close family network. I love my children with all my being and wouldn’t give them up for the end of the world, but sometimes I just am at a loss on how to do for them.

First, there are those who perceive all single moms as these money-hungry baby-makers. I’ve had the pleasure of hearing how all these women are on government services and they are paying our way with taxes. How so many of the women have the babies so they can collect child support. I have not received child support for 3 of my children. I am on government help for the first time in my life this year because I can’t seem to find a place willing to hire me. Jobs don’t want mothers. They will find another excuse not to hire you of course but it’s because you don’t have that unlimited schedule they are looking for. The government services are by no means as easy to get as most people think either. I hate dealing with all the paperwork they want and would much rather be working a good paying job.

Also, you have teachers who have the nerve to cut something as stupid as a dog following you to school down on you; or the fact that you asked the first teacher you saw about an event at the school. When they give an attitude for asking I feel like saying “Well excuse me for thinking you people have good communication or care enough to know here”. Now, I know teachers are getting it pretty hard in some places from the government. However, some teachers do not like to teach. When I was in school my teachers taught me the information…my father happened to be one of those who wanted me to know more than the other kids in school and taught me extras…but the teachers still did their job. Nowadays, teachers just send home things and expect you to teach it to your kids even if it is totally different then anything you learned. So, even for your elementary school child, you have to go and look up information to help them with this homework.

In schools everything is a huge ordeal now too. Come on, I said I hate my life all the time as a kid when I was in trouble of any sort but it’s a big deal now. My son is possibly ADHD stricken but I try to deal with it outside of medication because I don’t like the idea of drugging my son for him to behave. I doubt it is really ADHD in some ways because he can focus very well when he wants to. His teacher right now gets so highly upset over the silliest things though. He does do some things that he shouldn’t because he has a bit of a temper (like throwing his backpack) but she does get pretty upset over stupid things too. She’s a new teacher though..She’ll find out there is worse then him.

My children don’t like to listen to me either and I am by no means soft spoken with them; it scares those around me when I yell more than my own children lol. I partially contribute this to my family’s quickness to tell me if they feel I am doing something wrong right in front of my children. You should NEVER correct a parent in front of their child. That undermines the parent and the child takes it in (even subconsciously). It creates problems whether you realize it or not.

With all of these things, I wouldn’t give up my children if I had to and would fight to my death for them. They are my reason for living. There are those simple little smiles that can make all the most devious little actions just slip away from your mind. There is the fact that you know they love you and depend on you even though they don’t seem to understand how to show you. Knowing that no matter how much you try to mold them, they will become their own person. All those fears that no matter what you teach them or how you protect them, they will get hurt in life. They will experience heartache, being fooled, and any one of the massive types of crime out there at any moment. You have to just try your best and work hard for them. Hope for the bext but plan for the worst is a saying I have come to realize much in life

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