Been a Long Road

I’ve been working on my blogger posts since that one has ads and a way to maybe make something without buying anything yet. I haven’t made enough to pay for a website or domain. Although, that is definitely something I wish to do. I am not asking for clicks, though, as I don’t want to get into any trouble and lose it.

I am working with a task based virtual assistant company and that’s not doing much for me yet because I’m still learning how to do some and my children don’t like my attention anywhere else. I enjoy it, but here are plenty of others working with it as well. I am also working on MTurk here and there. As well as being signed up with a few transcribing sites. By the way, working with several transcribing sites is not the best idea. I’ve noticed that each has different rules on how they want it done. It makes it a little too confusing. I do know the one I want to work with most once I get used to their scary looking sign up process for jobs.

I have a couple of YouTube channels. There’s my regular one that’s connected to my account and my gaming channel. My gaming channel won’t have uploads very often because I don’t get a lot of time on the consoles. I do love the games and have some videos to edit, but other things take more precedence.

Our boys are still having episodes of complete defiance and the seeming need to cause drama at home. This is pouring into the youngest child’s behavior now and I am going to seek counseling for her. There’s been a lot of family drama in the past few years. I have several drafts started in this that I’ll need to look at and see if they’re worth publishing at this point.

There has been so much chaos in our family that I keep telling myself I’m going to try to be positive. If that works again, I’ll definitely let the world know. For now, it’s just hopes. That’s all I have any clear enough thoughts to update at the moment. I am going to be more  regular soon.




Review: Breaking Dawn

Breaking Dawn
Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I really don’t remember when I read the book. I was against watching the movies for the longest time because of what I’d heard about them. Until one day my parents were watching the first movie and I happened to be there that day. It was airing on TV because one of the next movies were about to come out. From the little bit I caught, I was hooked.
I read all of the books in a couple of weeks time and absolutely loved them. I loved actually reading what the wolves were thinking and the fight segment sounded phenomenal at the time I read this book. I do think the movie did the fight scene well. I may read this book again to refresh my memory since it’s been a few years.

View all my reviews


There was a murder in my neighborhood today. My my son’s friend’s mother was the victim. I feel horrible for the family and the fact that she more than likely suffered so badly in her final moments. She was stabbed multiple times. Another neighbor told us it was thirteen times. We moved away from city as much as possible in hopes that the chances of being around this were lessened. They locked down the local schools and only seemed to tell the middle school kids what was going on(to an extent) because the murdered still hasn’t been caught at this time.


Most of what I have ever posted has been something angry and depressing. I know it doesn’t make for a great blog most want to read, but much of it I feel needs to be said. Maybe one day I’ll have some fluffy stuff to say but it hasn’t happened yet.

I shared my brother’s gofundme request on Google+ and my fiance shared it as well. Then, some p.o.s. decides to go and be…well, a p.o.s. about it; but this is the internet so of course there is a prick out there. Out of everyone else in my family,  my brother has a chance to do so much better than the rest of us. He has been in the military, in a pretty good line of work. He has finished school, gotten into a good marriage(they are genuinely a good pair), and he is so smart. He deserves to have a good job.

He believes he found one and has gotten a job offer. In order to take the job, he needs to move. He has been out of work for a while so doesn’t have the money for the move. He, or rather his wife, is asking for help to do so. I shared it because I can’t afford to help him. I would if I had any money not going to bills.

In the past four years, we have had two family members die, our father has had a stroke, and my brother has been robbed a few times since being out of work. He deserves a break. If you can, help him. If not, don’t but keep your inaccurate thoughts to yourself.


It’s something I am so very tired of in life inn my life, and in what I hear going on for others. I hear of it happening to others and agree that something should be done. Everyone out there should stop teaching it. Whether it be religious, racial, or gender. It is ignorance and it should stop.

My son just went through the religious side of it in a sense. He drew a pentagram because he likes to draw everything and anything. Some stupid other child told him that they were no longer friends because it’s evil. My son says he drew that particular thing for a friend but I don’t really care. I don’t force a belief on my child and don’t believe anyone else should either. I tell him what I believe and tell him to learn about religion and decide for himself what feels right in his heart.

I do want to say this to everyone who will read this. A symbol is not good or evil and does not have power. The good or evil is in your heart and head. You are what’s good or evil in your life as well as those around you. The person (or child) who is intolerant is evil. The person who cuts someone down because their clothes aren’t designer or maybe have a few holes is evil. The ones who don’t tolerate the choices others make that don’t affect them personally are evil.

The ones who mind their own damn business and let people live their own lives are good people. The ones who don’t try to destroy a family just because they don’t like something they do differently are good. The ones who share their feelings and beliefs, but don’t tell you that you are believing wrong are good. The ones who try to understand -not control- are good.

That is all.

Today in the World

It’s been a while, yet again, since I have been on here. I’m now working a job that makes me feel dead tired every night and all sorts of things have gone on so I hadn’t had time. We moved and have a place to live. Hopefully soon we will both be working and I can catch up on my separate obligations.

I’ve kept up on some events going on while trying to to keep too close an eye on things in the world. It sickens me. I mean literally, not just figuratively. I actually get sick reading about all the garbage going on. I have grown up knowing how racism feels. From some one with mixed parentage it can tend to be worse because not one damn person accepts you when all the ones around you are brought up around that bs. It is learned. Most children love whatever they are around and fight with whatever they are around when they are mad. It is the people who teach those children to hate a specific race, relgion, gender, or gender preference. It has been taught to teach their peers in such a demeaning way.

Racism should no longer exist in America, but it does. The cops who stop you just because of what town you’re in and what color you are. The people who don’t like someone just because of their color. Keep teaching hate and that is what you’ll always get. Fight it with violence instead of brains and it will never be eradicated.

The gender crap is next on this list. So what if you like the same sex or the opposite? Who should care but you? Still with the violence. No, straight people should not be persecuting something that has been around since the dawn of man (both in the human and animal kingdoms). Homosexuals should neither be persecuting the reverse. The people that want to bring up the bible should also note that it is not their job, or right, to judge.

How in the world does anyone believe that stooping to the level of the lesser person is the right way to go?!?! Live your life! Educate yourself and families so that this world becomes more intelligent instead of failing to thrive!  Teach tolerance! Teach love!

Being Torn Stinks

So many times I wish my life would end. It’s odd because I really don’t want to pass on either. I keep this silly hope that it’s possible I could do something more. I feel like I’ve failed at everything. Having my first child taken because I let some jerk into my life who hurt him the first time I used his help babysitting. This jerk’s son I wound up carrying seeks to be in control even though he never met him. He hurts himself, me, his sisters. His sisters are starting to follow his cues. I have no work, no home, my family doesn’t care what happens to me. As much as I want to try, I don’t. I want to leave this world. I’m feel so hopeless. My kids don’t seem to need me, they do the opposite of whatever I say anyway. I’m tired of just existing.